A journey through the centers - Solar Plexus.
Some days I feel like I have no business speaking about this center, and then others I have a lot to share. Let’s just write and see where this goes.
The solar plexus is a very powerful motor. This center is in the process of mutation toward becoming an awareness center. After 2027 we will begin to see the children coming through with this centers mutation.
The fear attached to the solar plexus is NERVOUSNESS. You go up on the wave you begin to get nervous that you’ll never come back down, you go down on the emotional wave you begin to get nervous you’ll never come back up. This center moves through cycles of hope to pain, hope to pain. This is chemistry. The Solar Plexus is not about reason making. It is simple chemistry. It is not truth, although it completely feels like the ENTIRE truth in that moment. It is a point in the chemistry that eventually will shift and move to a new point/ a new perspective in the emotional wave.
Guilt, shame and blame are the results of trying to reason make with your emotions.
Amy Lee Mutton / Cacao ceremonialist and radical self responsibility extraordinaire.
A good friend of mine Amy Lee Mutton speaks often about this thing called the drama triangle, it was her who first introduced the concept to me and I have since done a fair amount of study and research in the social model theory (like a good little projector who’s focus got pulled). I can see the deep correlations within this theory and the wisdom of the Solar Plexus in conflict and emotional interactions. The drama triangle was first introduced by Stephen B. Karpman in the 1960’s, it is a social model of human interaction that maps a type of destructive interaction that can occur among people in conflict. You can google it and learn a bucket load specifically about the theory. What I would like to discuss is the Drama Triangle in relation to the emotional wave and interactions.
The points of the triangle;
The Victim (you’ve made me fell this way, I feel this way because of someone else, I am the victim here, my emotional state is because of someone else).
The Persecutor (emotionally abusive, gaslighting or forcing others to be and stay inside of chaotic emotions)
The Rescuer (trying to move force or hurry another through an emotional state as to avoid comfortability in your own body, or to satisfy your own need to be needed).
When there is ‘drama’ in your life you might find that you have taken up residence in one of the points of the drama triangle. Furthermore if you look around with awareness you will see where you have placed other people in the triangle also.
Ie: “I’m upset because of you” I’ve placed myself in the victim corner, I’ve placed you in the persecutor corner and I may find that I am waiting for a rescuer to appear. What I feel and have noticed through not only my own experience but observations -
The ‘drama’ triangle arises when we try to place
reasons or meaning onto our emotions.
The mind loves to do this- give our emotional states reasons for being there. The alternative is that we sit in the state we are in until the chemistry of it passes without reason, without meaning. Unfortunately we are not taught this as children. Even If we were, that doesn’t mean your mind would ever give up trying to place reason and meanings onto your emotions (of course it will, it’s a savage that doesn’t give up that easily). Acknowledging the reason or meaning the mind is trying to place onto your emotional state and allowing it to pass without attachment is the key to not entering into the drama triangle. The moment you attach to it's reason or give a meaning to why you are experiencing such an emotion and you attach to that, is the moment you enter yourself and others into the drama triangle.
Being where you are, in the emotional state without giving it meaning and recognising that moment as nothing more then a moment of information gathering, without acting on the information that’s being gathered is the potential healthy state of this center. It gather and gathers and gathers information over time, adding to its depth. When the time comes for the choice or decisions to be made or something is to be acted on- the depth in the clarity of that moment is like no other inner authority can offer.
Can we allow ourselves this time to gather?
Can you allow others to be in their process of gathering?
Being aware in the moment is not the gift of the emotional person, clarity is. Awareness is in the moment, clarity happens over times. This is the only authority that has such depth of clarity in their decisions.
A personal experience with this center-
Finding out about this center and observing myself in my process with it for the last 4 years has probably been one of the most life changing elements of my Human Design journey. I’m probably going to say that about a few of the centers but right now.. this one is a BIGGY.
I was an emotional kid- in secret. Never in public, never outwardly. I never showed just how much I was really feeling. I learnt very early on that emotional displays make people uncomfortable. They made me uncomfortable. I didn’t not want to be the source of that uncomfortableness for others. Let alone be in it myself.
Left to right- Pop, Nan, Aunty R, My Mum, Aunty D & Aunty J.
I’m a non-emotional Projector. So much of what I was amplifying as a child was the frequency of others around me, but I wasn’t to know that. My parents (like most others- at no fault of their own) were into the quick fix, everyone be happy, what are you crying about? What have you got to cry about?
My Nanna was a very stoic woman, who raised 4 very stoic woman herself. The women especially in my family were raised to be tough, strong, independent woman. “Chin up chook”, or “pick your bottom lip up” meaning whatever it is your down about you’d better move out of it quickly. Emotions were to be hidden not shared, pushed down rather than moved through, as quickly as possible. Fast forward 20 years and I too had adopted that quick fix strategy.
I got by in life fairly well with this strategy. I mean I had emotions and moods but I was always fairly quick to come back to a neutral state if I could get some alone time (which is a strategy I learnt as a child). Johno is also unemotional. Our meeting and coming together was pretty smooth sailing. Sure we have our ups and downs like all couples but nothing was ever too much of a ‘drama’.
Enter our first born. An emotional Manifestor child and with his birth was the complete shattering of everything I thought I knew about emotions, storing emotion in the body, holding space for emotions and just emotions in general. I was diagnosed early on with PND post birth. I was on a rollercoaster that I could not get off. One minute ecstatic the next in a low so deep I had no way of getting myself out. I remember the early days thinking It’s just hormones, it’s just the baby blues.. all the things they tell you after you’ve just gone through one of the biggest transitions a woman will ever encounter in her life. Unbeknown to me I was helplessly riding on the coat-tails of any and everything Jedd was feeling. 24/7.
After the ‘baby-blues’ standard period of time passed and I was still on the rollercoaster I remember thinking that life was going to be like this, forever. Now there’s a baby this is just how it is.
Luckily for me I found HD in his first year of being alive, and discovering our connection chart was honestly my saving grace. I began really observing myself, questioning myself, sitting with the massive waves of emotions that would come over my body when in aura with him. HOLY SHIT. If I am amplifying this tiny (not so tiny 10pound) baby’s every emotional state WTF have I been doing my entire life.
Things would surface that I had pushed down for years. He would be sad about a toy breaking and I would feel that sadness with him but at the same time knew that what was coming up and out of my body was In fact the sadness I had felt as a child when my favourite toy had broken. I was able to have these experiences of moving and shifting emotions from my past that had been stored for years.
At first I tried to correlate every experience with one from my past. Well he’s this so I am processing that from my past. This was a cool little trick for a while to document and really bring awareness to just how much I had been supressing and avoiding emotions. But soon it just wasn’t about me anymore. This strategy I was using was ALSO a way of avoiding the emotions coming through me. I had developed a new strategy of processing the moment through my mind and giving it meaning, reasons to be in the state I was in. I mean I still felt the feels in my body and would sit with him, but in all honesty I wasn’t really being present I was disassociating myself to numb the full brunt of what was going on.
I stopped trying to correlate everything to my past, I would hear the mind giving me a reason or meaning to attach to and try to let it go, and as uncomfortable as it was (as sometimes honestly still is) I learnt to sit. Say nothing and just feel.
We are a house full of 4th lines someone is always in the process of externalisation. Jedd is great at informing where he is at on his wave (I mean for a 4year old).. He has absolutely no issues in telling you how he is feeling. What I have noticed is that he will do just that- tell you how he is feeling WITHOUT meaning or reason attached. It’s is always us that asks for a reason, a meaning, why do you feel this way because hopefully I will be able to fix it for you.
I am still learning to not ask for his reason. To not give his emotion a meaning. He will sometimes give a reason “I’m sad because that kid wont talk to me”- I am still learning to sit and listen without offering a fix. Without entering myself into the drama triangle as the rescuer and in doing so placing him as the victim that needs rescuing.
Listening to him, being with him, feeling not only him, but allowing myself to feel as we move through the emotions together often results in his wave moving him through to clarity faster than me trying to fix it or trying to work through it with my mind, muddying up the process with my own insecurities.
What I have learnt from this 4 year old emotional being is phenomenal. He will sometimes say hurtful things in a wave of anger like “I don’t want this family”, he will sometimes say very finite things in a deep low like “it’s going to be this way forever”. It took me a while to accept that in that moment in time this is the whole truth of where he is at on his wave, although it is not THE truth, he is gathering information through his emotional center, and it will pass as he moves onto gathering a different piece of information. Learning to accept him where he is at has been a massive process for me, an ongoing one. As he gets older his wave gets more and more powerful. It is noticeable. Together we build our capacity to be with, understand and respect the emotional process. Boy am I ever grateful for the many lessons I receive with him as my teacher.