A journey through the centers - Sacral

I can sacral with the best of them. I have 4 dormant gates off of my sacral center. You put sacral energy near me and I’m off like a frog in a sock. I grew up in a penta with Generators and Manifesting Generators and you’d better believe it I was the quickest in the house. The most active. Always on the go, always looking for something to keep me busy. I was also the one who had the most trouble sleeping. I was also the one who was adrenally fatigue. I was also the one who’s body would break out in hives forcing me to have to rest. I had the most digestive and stomach issues, I also had to have my tonsils removed from my throat. I was the one who never knew when enough was enough. I’d sleep walk the house! Some nights I would become highly anxious that everyone in the house was able to sleep and I was the only one still awake. I’d fret about how I was going to make it through school the next day. I would walk the hallway peeping into my brothers and sisters rooms to see if hopefully somebody else was awake. Most nights I slept with my older sister (Sacral MG, who has 20/34), I’d crawl into her bed to try and sleep until I was around 12-13 years old. I remember many of nights being awake while she slept. I’d contemplate the world and the happenings of the day all while top-and-toed in her bed.

Myself, 4/6 Splenic PJ, My Sister 5/1 Pure MG in some funky outfits mum made us wear.

I am jealous of the Generator. Not in a way that I wish I wasn’t myself. I love being a non-sacral and my discovery of this changed my life. But in all honesty I am a little jelly, envious. A nice way to put it- in awe of the sacral and sacral beings that can live their life surrendered in response to this powerful life-force energy. It’s all there for them. And when it’s not, it’s not- so there’s nothing to do. They have this uh-huh, nuh-uh guidance system. I‘m jealous of the definitive and precise choice the sacral sound makes aloud, announcing itself. I’m jealous of the battery power. It’s like they are the expensive toy-shop RC car equipped with the fully rechargeable option, designed sleek for wind drag, whereas I feel like I got the clunky $2 shop, cheap toy version that burns through its batts in 20 minutes and is dead for the rest of the day. - Bitter much?! haha.

I watch Johno power through his mornings like he’s got a bag of feathers to carry while I’m lugging around a bag of rocks. I watch his entire body move him into a standing position when he is enthusiastic about something. It’s like the energy was always in there waiting for that exact moment for it to be allowed to fly free. It’s like watching a horse at the gate before the big race. There’s frustration and they are antsy and restless then the gate opens and by god that horse can move! Sheer power. Precision. I’m left in the dust.

I constantly remind myself that one isn’t better than the other, it’s simply this or that. Aces in their places and everyone wins the game- so to speak.

Marinating in a satisfied generator aura is like visit to the natural hot springs day spa. It’s pure and organic and effervescent. It’s calming and revitalising all at the same time. It feels somewhat like success but has a slightly different flavour to it. It’s like success with a completion.  Accomplishment, I think is the word I can put to it, but it’s not even that. Gosh, okay, it is hard to explain a feeling. “I did that. I built that, I created that and my energy was totally onboard and now I get to rest”. – it’s like this! It’s very easy for me to get swept up in. To think that I’m okay and just using the motor energy that I have in my design (the motors are sacral, heart, root and solar plex- I have root and heart motor energy). I can be powering through and be sure I’m using ego power, until I find myself exhausted and realise whoops! Again I’ve been running this vehicle on the sacral juice. Boy do I pay a price.

I feel like I will always be learning when enough is enough, Like I will never fully have a grasp on it as each different interaction with different Generators pop up I have a new level of enough-ness to learn. Sometimes it’s a completely subtle learning and other times it’s a full exhaustion learning. It’s not like it only happens when we are doing major physical activity like hiking or gardening. If I eat or drink, or even write! If I do any activity with a sacral being in my aura I can be swept away in that energy without even knowing I’ve been hijacked and pumped up on it. It isn’t until my body reaches it absolute maximum or tolerance that I may realise “Shit! I’m total not-self here”. Especially if the Generator is enjoying themselves. The spleen always let’s me know of course, but it’s like shush-up spleen, we’re having fun here cant ya see! it’s that addictive! I pay a high high price for acting this way. And I guess it has taken may years for me to get over my FOMO. I seem quicker to realise and pull back if the Generator I am with hits a plateau or is in frustration. I don’t like to be in that energy unless I am invited to guide them, it’s easy for me to amplify frustrations, but it’s also easy for me to see a different way, penetrating the Generator deeply, and once all my open centers start to get onboard golly-gosh I can be a real hard BIATCH.

My favourite thing in this world is being one on one with a Generator and in that special container I’ve been invited to focus on them. I’ve been recognised for my unique perspective and definition. In that container I am asking questions that arise. I have no Idea why they come the way they do but they do and I ask. The questions are answered in responses that I can see have given the Generators sacral it’s time in the spotlight, a chance to speak up. My focus and questions as short circuit their minds ability to respond and open up a direct freeway for the sacral response to go full throttle. They are responding to guiding questions one by one. But they do not expect me to solve their life’s problems. They know that’s not what I am there for. I can guide by questioning, never by directly telling. The Generator is even shocked by what is actually true for them. But it doesn’t end there. They contact me in a weeks time and say “Hey, I listened to what my body’s truth was and I took action on that”. “thankyou for giving me that to respond to, it’s changed everything”. I can feel their satisfaction. I can see how free they now feel instead of feeling enslaved in their own existence. That is where my success lies and it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world. My fav place to be.

I have a recent story actually, let me share it with you.

Paradise in the unknown.

Today we were driving along a well know, well established highway across outback Queensland. We had a route planned out to get us through to the Northern Territory. It was a safe route. Well known places to stay along the way, dump point’s, water, supermarkets, fuel stops.. all the necessary things you need to travel across outback Australia. For all accounts it’s probably the best way to go (at least that what the mind say’s).

I’m in the passenger seat perusing the good old fashion map book (thanks dad for conditioning me that one of these is always needed in a car) with phone signal far and few between its not always possible to rely on google maps. Johno driving, kids in the back watching a movie, I notice a different route. One that here in Australia we call “off the beaten track”. I show Johno and say to him, “there’s a different way across to the NT”. “Really, how? which way?”. In this moment I watch what happens next but really I’m doing more then watching, I’m penetrating. I’m being invited to advise. Words now lose all meaning, all importance, to the frequency that is shared between us. With both kids successfully bored and asleep we pull over. If we are going to make the call to take the alternative route we had to decide soon. The track to turn off the highway was only a couple kilometres ahead.

No Google maps out here.

Johno’s sacral -the details man (9/52) goes into full force. He has his family, his pride and joy and everything he’s every worked for hitched up to the car. He’s not about to make an uninformed decision. One of his sacral responses is configured with the pressure to focus and concentrate in order to gather details. It is not the abstract way, it is the logical way of doing things. He begins calculating kilometres we’ve already travelled today and the amount of fuel we have on board to work out the distance we potentially have left before we’d need fuel. Diesel pumps are far and few between out here, especially if you deviate from the highway. His process of gathering the details isn’t done in round-a-bout’s or estimates. He’s a full blown professor of calculus at this point. Taking into account the cars fuel consumption, drag the van causes, factoring in that the road is a dirt road with many creek crossings, stopping and starting the car, not travelling at full speed.. so much is going on in that noggin of his. Let me tell you what it looks like from the outside. It’s like he’s frozen in time. Eyes fixed on the map book, mouth open catching flies, after some minutes that seem like hours I begin wondering if he’s short circuited something in his brain, or had a stoke I’m unsure. I don’t do or say anything during this time. After 6 years of knowing him I know that only frustrates him. But with my awareness of his design I know that it is interrupting his process. This is his domain. My job is done for now. Maths is his thing and I’m forever grateful for this talent of his. He works out that we have enough fuel to get to the first campground where the report says they “have fuel available some months of the year”. The road conditions report says it’s unsafe to travel out there during the wet season, and to bring extra food supplies in case of a rain event. Basically saying if it rains while you are out here, you’re going to be trapped so be well prepared.

The wet season up here is Late October to April. We are at the beginning of October so the roads still have a few weeks left in them before these part of Australia become completely inaccessible for 6 month. Leaving this incredible part of the world to undertake its natural cycle. Drowning the earth, filling the rivers and creeks to the point they flow with a force none of us will ever experience the totality of. It feels like a cleansing happens. Maybe that’s why this part of the world feels to vibrant and full of life when it is accessible to the public for those 6-7 months of the year. Because it has its alone time to wash all human remnants away and start a fresh. I don’t know. The people who run the campgrounds stay during the wet season, it’s a skeleton staff usually. Just care takers that check pumps and make sure the infrastructure stays somewhat intact for the re-open of the season. Food supplies are brought in by helicopters fortnightly or monthly depending on the weather. It give a whole new meaning to being in isolation. Anyway I’ve gotten distracted.

Eventually Johno returns to us from wherever that place is he internally goes for his format channel to work it’s magic. “I don’t know” he says. Looking at me. I know he does know. He just doesn’t know how to trust his knowing. This is what I mean when I say that the words between us have lost all meaning. I can feel the difference in his energy. It’s not an - “I don’t know and I’m lost and confused about it”, it’s an- “I don’t know how to explain that I want to go that way despite all recommendations not to at this point in the year” What he is really saying is “I don’t know how to explain this knowing I have in my gut, I don’t know how to rationalise it”. The funny thing is I never at any point asked him to try and explain anything to me. This is a deep conditioned response he’s been taught as a child. When he has a sacral yes- to then rationalise that and try to explain it to everyone else. “I think you do know” I say to him with a cheeky excited smile that I cannot help. It’s not my smile. It’s the excited energy of his body amplifying through me and showing to him a very physical depiction of what he is feeling on the inside. Here is the point in the Projector-Generator relationship where we either get it very wrong or we get it very right. I have two options, I tell him what to do; moving myself into the driver’s seat of HIS vehicle (this never feels good and I lose sight of what is actually correct and what my mind wants to be correct). Guiding by telling the Generator what to do isn’t guiding at all. It’s kinda thinking you know best and it can override their sacral response for what is actually correct. As a projector I only have what I feel in my body and questions, There is no way of telling what the sacral is going to say until the moment of it beings said. So I chose to guide by questioning. The questions are never planned. I don’t have a pocket book of the right questions to ask in each situation. I have my definition. I have channel of Judgement, channel of Struggle and the channel of Surrender. My ability to guide him through questioning comes directly from my definition, so I guess in a way I am always prepared if it just trust that. I can sense his internal struggle that’s happening between his mind and his body.

“What’s your mind saying?” is my first line of questioning.

“My mind is saying what if we go that way and run out of fuel?”. Okay fair call I think.

“Are your calculations wrong?” I ask.

“No” he says confidently- He knows fuel isn’t the problem.

“My mind is saying what if we go that way and it rains and we get stuck out there”. Another fair train of thought.

“Do we have enough supplies in the van?” I ask a question I already know the answer to.

“Yeah enough for nearly two weeks” He replies and I can feel the frazzled energy of his mind begin to ease at this point.

In a way I am transmitting his worries into questions his sacral can answer. Distilling the vast open-ended questions in his mind into yes/no format. I only have one question left to ask him and in all honesty. I think I know the answer to it but I also have to remain surrendered that it isn’t my body, it isn’t my sacral, it is his and it can change in the moment. I wait a second, I’m not sure what his brain is doing but I know that if I wait too long he very well may talk himself out of his first sacral response.

Off the beaten track.

“Forget everything else, do you want to go that way?” I point up the unknown dirt road.

“Uh-huh” he says with a smile just as convincing as his words.

I know now that the alternate route deeper into the outback is what’s correct for us at this point in time. It doesn’t matter what happens it’s meant to happen this way. The bucket loads of crap that our mind are throwing at us at this point are coming in thick and fast . The mind is basically throwing a tantrum because it had a planned route, it had its expectation and predicted outcome that we had just thrown in the trash for our new unknown exciting route. My spleen has nothing on the radar, there isn’t a fear in my body about heading out that way. Johno’s sacral is a yes for heading out that way. We pull the car back onto the road and smile at each other as he indicates right off of the highway and toward the unknown.

I lost phone/ internet signal about 10 minutes into the drive that never returned for about 2 days. Would you believe we spent two days in one of the most beautiful picturesque destinations in the Australian outback. It took us all by surprise. Moment to moment we had our breath taken away by the beauty of the natural landscape. Would you believe that Johno’s sacral lead us to an inland shore. A freshwater, spiritually cultural place of the local Aboriginal people. They tell a dreamtime story about a serpent ‘Boodjamulla’ that cut the river into the earth and filled it with water and fish for the land people, and how we must look after it otherwise the serpent will drink it dry, taking away all food and water supplies to the local people. We spent hours cannoning up and down with the boys. Swimming in creeks so blue and clear, full of Archer fish. Inland rivers so deep that the local kids could launch themselves from the top of the tree branches into the water, performing their latest learnt manoeuvre on the way down. We sat around fires and roasting marshmallows, we bathed in the creeks and stargazed until our eyes could no longer stay open. It was absolute heaven on earth. Paradise in the unknown.

Sitting under the stars, both boys asleep, Johno boils the billy for our nightly cuppa tea. “Thankyou” he says out of nowhere. “What for?” I am a little taken back, not sure what it is he is referring to.

“we wouldn’t have come this way without your guidance”.

A feeling sweeps through my body. One that I know now as my signature. Sweet success we meet again in this perfect moment.