A journey through the centers - Root Centre.

Righto confession time.. this is one of the centers that when I began my experiment, in all my naivety, I instantly assumed that because it is defined in my design I automatically am living the highest guru potential of this one, check. Moving on baby. Oh boy.

This is one of my defined centers that was certainly operating in an unhealthy state. The dilemma for me specifically- expecting everyone else to run to my schedule. And not only that, they’d better be there early, with a smile on, laces tied, ready to rock and roll.

I worked for 10 years in the mining industry. 5 of those years working in a position called MINE CONTROL. Basically it is a position where it’s all on you to move the fleet (we are talking up to 50+ people at one point) in the most efficient productive way, making the company as much money as quickly and efficiently as possible. I say “YOU MOVE NOW” to the machine operator, they’d better bloody move. What a power trip for an unhealthy defined Root. This carried in to many areas of my life. Waiting in lines.. gahhh. Traffic… gaah… the check out chick at the supermarket packing my groceries at turtle pace.. painful!! Why can nobody in this world move at some sort of efficient pace?

I didn’t not know how to rest or relax and was storing pressure in my body with no healthy outlet.

My reality check would come in the form of a charming Splenic-Sacral Generator, with the 9/52 defined.

Enter Johno. Aka the Rocket. His Root defined but very different to mine. His pace was not only quicker, it was far more logical, and consistent. What I found the most intriguing, the man knew how to rest. Nothing stressed him out? With a Maintenance team to manage, a budget of millions of dollars and the pressure of a corporate mining company constantly breathing down his neck. He had a cadence about him that was somewhat confusing and somewhat mesmerising. He set the timeframe, he did not move until his full focus and concentration moved him. When in full force there was an unstoppable drive. After what always seemed like an intense pressure cooker situation to me, his stress didn’t linger like mine did. He chilled. “no point stressing about it, what’s happened has happened” he’d say.

Huh?! How is this a way of being? What did he do with all the residual stress? How can he be so chilled and yet move at the speed of light? Observing him at work became one of my favourite pastimes. I knew nothing about Human Design back then but I do remember learning about myself by observing him.

Why was I such a stress head? Why cant I relax? Why does it annoy me to the very core when someone isn’t keeping my pace.

Hiking the Flinders ranges, South Australia.

Things progressed (obviously) and we moved in together. Honeymoon period was great. Then the battle of the defined roots began. It started with little things like “hey can you do the dishes?” I’d ask. “Yeah sure” he would say, but there would be no immediate movement. He’d finish his show, or finish what he was doing. I couldn’t stand the pressure of the dishes not being done so I would just do them. He’d ask “why didn’t you leave them for me? I was going to do them?”, “Yeah but when?!” was my usual snappy remark.

I remember as a child my mother had one of these snappy remarks that I now relate to the Root. If she asked us to do something and we hadn’t done it immediately she would ask again, “Yeah I’m coming!!” I’d yell from a different room “SO’S CHRISTMAS!” she would snap. Meaning you’d better get in here and do it now, by god if you didn’t get your skates on you would be sorry. And if she managed to finish said task before you got there… run. Just run. Now I love my Mum and she wasn’t like an evil tyrant or anything. She was just a working Mother with three children and often two foster children in her house.

Anyway back to the Rocket and the battle of the Roots. Over the years I continued this behaviour. It was my pace. My timeframe. I created so much stress and pressure in our home it was getting progressively worse. Probably a combination of my defined heart, and amplifying his sacral 9/52 definition and trying to battle it out with his Root, rather then compromise. I distinctly remember the moment I realised just how much pressure I brought to a room.

He was sprawled out on the lounge, a movie on the TV and a huge overflowing basket of clean laundry next to him. I’d asked him if he could fold it for us and dumped it at his side. To which he replied (his usual) “yeah sure”. I left the room and got back to doing the doing. I was baking lots at the time so I had a mountain of dishes to do, kitchen to clean, food to pack away and all I really wanted to do was to go and hang out on the lounge and watch the rest of the movie with him. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t relax until the kitchen clean, the washing folded and there was absolutely no more tasks to complete. Like that day ever comes. I finished up all my tasks and walk back into the lounge. This is the moment I never forget. It has stuck with me so vividly. Not so much the little details like the grey track pants he was wearing. The part that has solidified this moment in my body was the absolute disgusting feeling that I felt in the pit of my stomach as the next few moments played out.

I walked into the room. He was still in the exact same position. And so was the basket of laundry. I began to open my mouth but stopped as I watched him spring up from his chillaxed vertical position, grab the top item of clothing and frantically begin folding like he had just been caught in some sort of disgraceful act. The act of relaxation! How dare he!!

I didn’t speak. I just cried. I sat down on the floor and cried. Now you know that look a man has when he is unsure if the purpose of your tears are because of something he has done and he has no idea what that was, or it has nothing to do with him at all. That moment of confusion. Yeah, he had that look. “I’m sorry, I was getting around to it, its just washing Amy, it will be okay”. I wasn’t crying because of the washing. I was crying because my sheer presence in a space had caused him so much pressure and guilt and shame for simply being himself. Who the fuck do I think I am? How did I get so pressurised? Why was everything laced with stress around here?

I explained that seeing him stand to attention like that was awful and I was disgusted in myself. I never wanted him to feel like he could relax in his own home. Or that a perfectly folded pair of jocks was more important than Deadpool 2. I began deconditioning my Root center that day, not know a single thing about Human Design. The feeling in my body was enough to begin that mutation.

We are now talking 6 years on and I still hear the not-self of this center. The not-self never goes away, I just catch it all the time and don’t act on it. I hear the to-do list on repeat in my mind but my decision to act comes from a much calmer place now.  Learning to relax took a lot of Kinesiology for me. There was (and somewhat still is) deeper layers of childhood conditioning there. I had to redefine my whole idea of what relaxation is and how it can look completely different for each individual. I had to learn how to move pressure and stress from my body in healthy ways. The biggest lesson was I had to learn to accept the pace and cadence of others. I had to learn and accept that we all handle stress and life’s constant pressure in different ways and in differing amounts. That the straw that breaks the camels back can be a tiny little twig. It is not my job to judge others on how much pressure or stress they can handle. I do not know their story or how much they are carrying. I had to adopt the saying “no rush”, “no hurry”. But it goes much deeper then this. I also had to accept and  claim, that by default I do bring a pressure to a space. It isn’t about disowning or shaming myself for who I naturally am. If the house is burning down I’m gunna hurry your arse out the door. There is a need for my defined root center. There are correct timings and situations for my drive and pressure. Strategy and Authority my allies as I continue to observe and decondition this defined center.

Annnd here comes the need motivated transmitter.. haha I can watch myself processing and know roughly what is wanting to come out of me next…

At the crux of it all, the Root is the center that holds our body’s fuel potential. It is both a pressure center and a motor. The Head center is the other pressure center. The Head represents the pressure that fuels our conceptualising process. The Root center represents the pressure which fuels our evolution, to evolve and adapt and to just be in the world.

The 9 gates that extend from the Root are the 9 different fuels that ignite this motor and kick the engine into gear. The root fuels the entire BodyGraph. The Root gates that you carry in your design are the very specific types of fuel to run your vehicle.  If you think about a car. That car only operates correctly when it has the right fuel running through it. Try to run the car with the wrong fuel and you’re going to have all sorts of issues.

58- the pressure to perfect.

38- the pressure to struggle.

54- the pressure to transform.

53- the pressure to complete.

60 – the pressure to mutate.

52- the pressure to concentrate.

19- the pressure to be sensitive.

39- the pressure to emote.

41- the pressure to feel.

Which pressures are correct for you to have in your life when you live by your strategy?

As a Projector, my strategy of course is to wait for the invitation. Personally in my chart I have Root gates 58 and 38. It is correct for me to have the pressure to struggle and the pressure to correct WHEN and it is a big WHEN I am invited to do so. Any other time, any other pressure is not mine to have and hold. Sure I can learn from others pressures. Take Johnos’s 52- pressure to concentrate for example. I can learn from him all about that pressure in life. But trying to be that or carry that with me consistently is eventually going to make me very ill. Probably fry my adrenalines and cause all sorts of not-self behaviours.

I think the last thing I want to mention here is that no center is isolated. There is no center that isn’t tainted, effected, pressurised, supported or influenced by another. They are all parts of the whole. So in our journey through the centers over the next few weeks, keep that in mind. The story I’ve given above has elements of the ego center, the head center, sacral center, I just didn’t highlight them because it is not the focus of this article.

Anyway.. on to the next.

Love yourself, you’re a genetic phenomenon that’s made it through generations to be here.  

Amy x