A journey through the centers - Ajna
The minds awareness center. There are three awareness centers. The Spleen being the oldest, the Ajna and then the Solar Plexus coming in as the newest awareness we are still undergoing the mutation of. The awareness of the splenic system is fuelled by instinct to fight in the now moment or not to survive, the fuel of the solar plexus is provoke through the depth of the wave. The Ajna isn’t fueled by the body like the other two awareness centers. It isn’t fueled by the adrenaline system. It is put under pressure by the head center and to have an awareness and by the throat center to bring that awareness into form. The awareness in the Ajna operates over all time. This is how it has such a huge hold on us causing us to make decision from the mind. This is different to the Splenic awareness that operates existentially in the now or the Solar Plexus awareness that operates over the depth of wave.
The mind, whoa. Where to begin. I said these shares would be more personal and really like a liberation for myself as I journey through each of the centers pondering my experience with them.. so here we go…
Having this center undefined has played a major role in my need to be certain, be right, be smart, be worthy of sharing my thoughts. My Dad has a defined Ajna. It was not an option in my household growing up to say “I don’t know”. If you didn’t know you found out- fast. We were told to think about it, think it through, find an answer, find a solution, force to have a certainty. Forced to find a truth and once found, that truth was now gospel. Okay I might be exaggerating a little but that is honestly how it felt. If I wasn’t certain I would shut my mouth because there was no way I was going to be made to look like a dummy in this household!
I have been certain about many things in my life.
Certain that the first man I married was ‘the one’. Certain that I would work as a clinical child psychologist. Certain that I would birth one boy and one girl child. Certain that those births would be natural and graceful and western medicine free.Certain that the 5 bedroom house was required. Certain that tangible science was the only answer, certain that anyone with a white coat on knew more than me. Certain that I had to work long hours to make good money. Certain that I had to be certified to be taken seriously and be of any value.Certain that I had to find my purpose to be happy. Certain that I was not a good public speaker. Certain that every thought in my mind must be acted on. Certain that I had to work on myself to become a better version. Certain that it was important that my opinion was heard. Learning about the Ajna and beginning the deconditioning process saw me taking a look at every single belief I had been harbouring and carrying around with me. I began saying “I don’t know” FULLSTOP. Not I don’t know- but let me find out, or work it out, or I’ll get back to you. Sometimes it’s just as simple as I don’t know/ I am undecided about that and I am okay with being in that space. This was THE MOST uncomfortable yet freeing statement I have ever adopted. And of course being the shit-stirer that I am, my most favourite person to say “I don’t know” to now is my Dad.
Anything that I hold a rigid belief in nowadays I feel it is absolutely necessary to look at the alternative. Anything that I believe to be true, should and can be questioned. But this isn’t from a pressurised place of trying to force or figure out a new truth or THE truth. It’s joyful and fun to ponder and meander around in my own thoughts with uncertainty and curiosity.
Defined Ajna people astound me. Their consistent way of researching and concluding. Their capacity to hold a though process that doesn’t seem to wander around lost in the unknown. Their birthing of concepts and theories. The ability to logically analyse and project forward with certainty or synthesis the past to capture the essence of an experience into a meaningful story. OR the structure.. oh the ability to structure something…I’m totally in awe.
I know when I am being conditioned in a space by a defined Ajna because my mind begins a gymnastics floor routine that I find it very difficult to stop. It is like running and flipping and rolling around trying to find the end of the mat in a hurry. Sometimes I am able to stand up mid routine and say oh wait, I’m unsure about this. Other times I am so lost in the routine I am unaware of the immense pressure to find a finish line. Cue a headache.
My youngest son was born with a defined Head and Ajna. I spent many late nights in our nursery chair feeding him, rocking him, all the while the gymnastics floor routine going on in my head. Why is it 3am and he is back to sleep and I am still trying to mentally conclude all of my life deepest questions! I would think. I began to practice observing where my mind would go while I was feeding him. Observing the pressure and the cadence to my mind whilst rocking away in darkness. At first I would try to stop my mind, try to control it and fully judge myself for not being mentally strong enough to make it all disappear and stop. Boy did I suffer. I am not supposed to have NO THOUGHTS AT ALL. I have an active brain. Death for an active brain is to have no mental stimulation at all. It wasn’t until I realised the strategy of trying to stop or control my thoughts all together is infact a strength and a tenacity of the defined Ajna as well. So I was trying to beat my conditioning with more conditioning in a way. Rather than allowing my Ajna to just be and do Ajna things.
Becoming a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner. The language of the mind and how to program it. This was a certificate in the mind trying to control the mind with more mind. HILARIOUS now I think about it.
I began a different practice. A lighter one of watching without judgement. Witnessing myself. Seeing the thoughts, hearing the narrative, allowing the mind to do its thing without giving the thoughts any weight. I would hear the ideas and the beliefs come though and just watch, knowing that I didn’t not have to act on a single one. There was absolutely nothing for me to do with any of it. The places we would go in the space of a 20 minute midnight feed where incredible. I began to find it amusing and humorous but part of me also was grieving. There was a real process of feeling ashamed and sorry for the me that only years ago would have driven her life by these thoughts. How did I survive for so long following my minds narrative? What opportunities have I missed because I was solely lead by my mind and controlled by my thoughts.How much suffering have a caused myself over the years because of this brain box! Then my attention would turn to all the people in my life that are still enduring this way of life. How awful it must be to believe the not-self mind. How many mean things people are speaking to themselves and believing about themselves daily, every single moment of the day. How torturous it must be to bear the weight of the mind and all of its unnecessary thoughts moment to moment.
Sometimes now when I hear my Ajna revving up its not-self narrative I imagine it outside of myself. Like it is a person I’m sitting across from and I imagine that they are speaking aloud to me that way. I wonder would I even put myself around this person? Let alone consult them on ANY life decisions for that matter. Probably not. I wouldn’t even have them in my life if this were a real person.
This is still the strategy I use today when I feel the need.
Okay watch my mind wander here… I can feel it coming on….
The first Hermetic philosophy is 1. The Principle of Mentalism. It says “All is mind, the universe is mental”. Meaning that all of life and it’s phenomena, matter and energy of the material universe are all thoughts of an infinite and universal living mind. Some of those thoughts contain matter of appreance like that you are seeing in front or you and others hold no matter at all, simply thoughts. Which means all things share a deep connection in creating this Maia we live in. Human Design describes the neutrino ocean that we all live in as ‘programming’. The neutrinos from the planets slam right into us but they do not park themselves up after that. They are filtered through our lens, our designs and we transmit them back out. Where do you think the neutrino goes after it passes through you? It passes through you, through the earth and back out into the universe. Three. trillion. neutrinos. moving through every square inch of every person at the speed of light. Pouring out into the universe. The process on repeat. The universe programming us and us in turn programming the program. An non-stop mental creation. Illusion if you will. “All is mind, the universe is mental”.
Phheewwwww okay that went deep. Anyway…
It is thought processes like this that make me want to transit through a clean filter. It makes me want to be a vessel that which a neutrino can pass through and not become any more of a distortion than it already is. That the effect I personally have on the neutrino field is one endowed with awareness. What a mind trip huh! To even consider the effect you are having on the consciousness field that is directly around you is a mind trip enough let alone contemplating how that is in turn programing the planets.
Anyway I am totally lost in my mind here – classic undefined ajna style.
Lets get practical and factual so that I can prove to you that I know something worth knowing (kidding). The Ajna has no tribal circuitry at all. Let that sink in for a bit. No keynote of support. Collective and Individual processes pass through this center for its awareness hit. The collective process is visual and the individual process acoustic. It is the visual process that dominates the mind. The mind builds your mental stories and models of the world over all time, over the span of your life. It then uses these to bring you awareness in each moment. Its does so two ways.
Logically- categorising and compartmentalising repetitive experiences so that you can predict what might happen next, making the mind more and more efficient in its process each time Ie. you know those sentences where the words in are the wrong order but your mind reads them the right way around anyway. (yep like this one- read it again). That is the awareness of your logical Ajna over all time. Your brain has learn what order the words are probably supposed to go in and so it deletes, distorts and generalises information based on you logical past.
The second is the abstract process of having an experience that implants a core memory, a core belief that then becomes a program of the mind. A story stashed away as awareness.
Your mind then runs your life with these modes of awareness, making your decisions and leading the charge until you come to recognise that it has no authority over your life, that it is in a forced marriage with your body and that your body, in fact, has its own way of decision making that is far truer to your trajectory then you mind could ever comprehend. When you come to realise that many of your models of the world were placed there as a child. That the beliefs and core programs dictating your behaviour are not in service of your one true life and role here, but on repeat because it’s the easiest, quickest, laziest way the mind assumes it could keep you safe, small and alive. And ultimately can keep control of your life. When you come to realise these things it is like a veil is lifted and now that you have peeked underneath you cannot unsee or unknow that your mind is a complete control freak on a power trip. Weel, at least that is what I have concluded about my mind anyway haha.
The process of reason-making is what the Ajna is brilliant at. THE STORIES!! OH THE STORIES IT CAN CONCOCT. I do this because of that, if I do that then this will happen, I just do it like this because that’s what I’ve always done. IF i get this that I can have that. The mind will drop a reason for you to act on its thoughts quicker than you can blink.
Coming to terms with this is what saw a massive shift in my passenger consciousness journey. Listening for the reasons and the stories my mind comes up with. “I have to do the dishes before they come over otherwise they will think we live like pigs.” “I have to catch up on the world news otherwise I will look stupid”. I have to come up with a new idea otherwise my mind isn’t of value to anybody. How can I used my design to gain… {insert mental desire here}”.
There is a pressure to act, do, then a story to back it up. Or there is a pressure to know/solve and then a story to back that up.
My mind has great value! But none of it is for me. It is here to share my unique perspective, share my experience of being with the other, share through my lens what this human experience is all about for me. The mind is great for measuring. If only we stopped it there and didn’t continue into a story or make meanings out of those measurements that we then believe about ourselves to be true.
It’s like we spend all this time mentally constructing a version of ourselves and force and push and exhaust ourselves pursuing becoming that somebody, so that we can annonce to others who it is we are.
Once you ‘know’ who somebody is, you can then measure who they have become against who you have become, and from that measurement make up stories that derive your own value, worth and belonging as you compare who it is you have become against who it is they have become and where that stands in the collectives homogenised idea of what it is trendy to become this season. Which is all determined by the cycle of neutrio programming.
The Washington Post in’ and out’s list has us all by the balls. Placing us all in the ‘trendy’ pile as people who are within the Human Design system this season. It isn’t until we realise we are so much more than the roles, labels and mental constructs we have placed ourselves within, that we then want out of the comparison game. And my guess is that if you are here consuming HD information it is either 1. because you are stuck in the measure/comparison game and want to know how this modality can help you gain the thing, so that you can become the person, so that you can appear certain about who you are. Or 2. You have awoken to the hampster wheel and want out of the game.
It then becomes more like “oh hey, you are a human over there doing ya thing, cool. Me too” “oh you see it that way, interesting, I see it this way”. No attachment to the right or wrong, the good or bad, the measure or the stories. It’s like aw yeah another person standing on a flying rock on a journey. No judgement. Good for them. Because how can you ever be certain you know anything about who anyone is ever again, even if they appear certain themselves, because you now know ‘mental certainty’ IS the mind at work.
Now I am not speaking about having a certainty in the body, I want to make that very clear. I am speaking about mental assumptions, comparisons, using the mind to measure oneself against a mental concept of the other. A certainty in the body is indisputable. This is why the mind can never be trusted over the wisdom of the form’s authority. The body isn’t measuring you against the other in hopes of proving an agenda. it is simply moving you correctly through time and space.
Okay… This has been the perfect example of my mind and the places it can go when I sit down to write. Hows your brain feeling after all of this I would love to know!
THINGS TO PONDER IF YOU WISH: