Overriding Your Design.

Recently I received a question from a member within the HD Hub+. Sidenote; They are such a bunch of legends that seem to always draw things out of my minds deep grey matter that I cannot access myself (being the right mind) and I am always so grateful for that opportunity. The question was;

Are there places / circumstances were you knowingly override your design?

My short an immediate answer was -Yes 100%.

My longer and more elaborate answer was something along these lines…

I found design in July of 2018. It is coming up to my 5th year in this process of shattering and unraveling. In all of the times I have managed to put my full faith in my Strategy and Authority it has never lead me astray to-date. My life has completely flipped. I have noticeably far less mental suffering. In fact my life is quite entertaining to me now even though from the outside it seems pretty mundane. But did I just stumble upon Human Design and radically surrender.. no fekken way. Do I override my design and live as the ‘not-self’ somedays.. yep.

Does that mean I've failed or I am not living my design? No, I don't think so. Does that mean I am living in those moments as my not-self? technically if we need a label then yes! I would be not-self in those moments. However, I do not think it is as simple as ‘you’re either living correctly or incorrectly’ That’s a bullshit rule and I hate rules. Rules are often very useful and necessary. But ultimately, rules are a means to an end, not an end unto themselves. When we blindly accept a rule without question, we run the risk of becoming mindless servants to the rule without ever truly comprehending or integrating the unique beneficial purpose that it offered us in the first place. The power of the human experiential way lies in our ability to test the logic of this system over. Human Design is a formula, a logical system. For any logical formula to remain as a valid one it NEEDS to be proven. And not just once. Over and over again. Anything can be proven time and time again in a controlled lab. Anybody can regurgitate Ra quotes and find proof in textbooks as to why the system works. Where the real test begins is- can the system hold its validity outside of a controlled environment over and over again? In the big playground of life, in the messy chaotic human experience, do the formulas work? are they valid? I consider myself somewhat a doubtful suspicious Scientist within this system, and experiment is what I shall do to continually validate it for myself… keyword there.. MYSELF.

I think we do this experiment as radically as we can with the life and circumstances we have, AND at the speed at which our body can find it's homeostasis with the mutations that deconditioning brings. It is up to nobody else to decide how my experiment is going. Some of us can leap blindy and trust the parachute will open on the way down. Some of us are designed to open up the backpack, pull the parachute out, test every strap and tie, question its effectiveness and of course give our corrections as to how it could have been more efficiently packed into the backpack in the first place.

When I do 'override' my design (what this question is truly asking is Authority.. do you override your Authority) I do it with awareness that it could make me ill. Effect my health. Leave me bitter AF. And a knowing that I have potentially just taken the long way around when the shortcut was in front of me. Doing it the hard way - in other words. But that would also insinuate that there is a destination or somewhere to be. That destination being “the correct life or our correct path”. When really, can you be anywhere else then where you are?

And also, sometimes I am unaware. It's not until after the process ends I realise I did not have right action. I end up sick, bitter and sitting in that oh so familiar seat of “I knew this was going to happen”.

When I am aware that I am going to go against my Strategy and Authority - I hold myself with compassion that my mental conditioning in that place is strong, my conditioned beliefs are strong, they have been with me my entire life and I am only human. In that moment my mind has a hold over me and I am unable to surrender to my Authority regardless of how many lectures I have listened to. I could beat myself up over it, add more shame and conditioning and mental suffering or, I can accept that I too am in the deconditioning process, learning to trust and surrender. I have an example of this happening recently. I was in a shopping mall and I heard/felt/ knew I had to leave. My spleen was commanded me “leave now”. I had two kids in toe and one more thing to collect before we headed out. That thing was NAPPIES. I knew right then and there my authority had made a choice for my health. I was100% aware. My mind (that strong mutherfucker) had other things to say. “it’s just one more thing, it’s nappy’s. You need nappy’s. It is an extra 5 minutes. Whats the big deal. Get the nappy’s and then get out the shop”.. and even sneaker.. my mind begins to talk to the spleen like “If you don’t get them now you’ll have to come back here tomorrow and obviously you dont want that do you spleen.. huh huh ?!?!”.

100% aware of my body’s decision. I overrode it with my mind and set out for the goddamn nappy’s. What unfolded was a series of events that ended with me bursting into tears in the shop, getting yelled at publicly by a stranger and then sitting in my car with all of us overwhelmed and crying for a good 15 minutes before I could drive hime. Okay, evidence gathered. Spleen was right - like it’s ever wrong.

I am not someone who could have just leaped blindly into my experiment. Perhaps that comes from parts of the understanding circuit in my design, perhaps it is my conditioned self that also could not just leap. Perhaps it is my circumstance with having young children. Who knows and who really cares.The fact is, the main messaging or prescribed directive for living your design is to “JUST LEAP, follow this set of rules and Bob's ya uncle, you'll be correct”. This can be far too much for many to handle. And it can actually be the type of messaging that inhibits people from giving this thing a go. The circumstance I am in, with young children is different to those without young children in toe - simple fact. So why was I taking the rules of my own experiment from people who are not in my movie? This is just another way the mind likes to keep it’s control by comparing us to a pedestal of perfection that simply does not exist.

I’m not saying you can spruik off that you are living design without ever trying. You have a self responsibility to have a red hot crack at Strategy and Authority and passenger consciousness. But when you are deconditioning yourself whilst in a season of raising little human beings there is a responsibility to them. Someday’s that means you live the not-self part of the experiment out. Some days I have to be a Generator in response, Some days I have to be the Manifestor who initiates. Some days the decisions I make, I have to put my children before myself and yeah that can make for a bitter AF Projector mother. I don’t believe there is an incorrect way to experiment. I believe it is an experiment. I believe all there really is, is us playing the game of life and the noticer (the seer, the self reflective us) watching us play the game of life. That’s it. No correct or incorrect. No right or wrong way. Just experience after experience. All the while gathering evidence as to whether this system is a valid or not valid. And look if eventually all that evidence gathering leads me to become the more blind-leap-of faith parachute jumper, that well that’s a cool outcome.

Look at it this way, when we head out as a family if three of us want to be there and one doesn't, that one is sacrificed in that moment. That’s life in a penta.

When my undefined spleen child comes crawling into my bed at night for the conditioning and safety of my splenic definition I have to sacrifice my desire to sleep alone. That’s life. That’s the movie. AND it is still the experiment. In fact it is the experiment outside of the lab. It is the experiment being tested within the messy parameters of life.

My mind goes to the question- do we really have any choice at all? In this maya where we are given people and circumstances and events, do we even get the choice to USE our Authority. If my kids want to do something or their body moves them to be somewhere I have to follow them. I cannot just stop in my tracks and not follow or chaperone them. I have to go with them. If my 2 year old runs onto a road, I’m going to run after him, whether in that moment my spleen says no or not. Then there are circumstances where if I choose to follow my authority it results in one of theirs being overriden.

There are parts of the system that when tested outside of the lab proved themselves fairly quickly for me.
For me, it is easy to not give unsolicited advice to strangers- that one gathered evidence pretty quick and yeah the system is judged valid. Easy to decondition or change my patterned behaviour on that one.

For me, it is easy to wait for invitations from people for guidance sessions or to have me analyse their charts- that one gathered evidence over a few years, a little slower than the first, but still a reasonable speed. Easy to decondition or change my patterned behaviour.

For me, with the season I am in, the hardest part of following my design comes with parenting and also deconditioning myself. Not be able to rest when I need to, or move where I want to go, or spend my time studying. I want to listen to my airpods and drown out the world. But I have two children that require someone to listen to them and be a space for them to express and externalise. I have no choice in these moments to listen to my authoirty. I have drop my RULES and judgements of myself (that I am not living this experiment properly if I cannot follow my own authority) in those moments to allow them to exercise their uniqueness. My children are a high priority right now. They require shitloads of my energy and focus and attention. This month my partners authority lead him to being away from us for 15 days. As a result I had to pick up his share of the parenting. I have no choice. My spleen was like RUN, get out now. But I could not follow my splenic knowing. We have young children who need a parent. To honor and respect Johno’s Authoirty, health, well-being and his trajectory- I am the sacrifice. This is tribal love, ego circuitry. He is our tribe and there is nothing more important to the tribe then the health of all its parties. His health relies on him following his strategy and authority. That just so happened to mean, I had to override my own.


I recognise parenting is a system and the opportunity I have to learn design through my children is unique and one of a kind but it comes with it's own challenges of awareness and surrender and being in the experiment.

Alone time is essential to everybody’s experiment. Crucial in fact. Alone time is fleeting with young children. I do not take it for granted anymore. Ever. Any Mum who has sat on the shitter marinating in their own smell longer then they need to for an extra 45 seconds of silence can attest to this.

Perhaps it is my unique design that see’s me in this process of evidence gathering. The Spleen is such a quiet Authority. In the hierarchy of awareness centers (and up and coming awareness centers) we have the very loud and potent Ajna that holds its awareness over all time, and the very obvious awareness wave of the Solar Plexus in action. The Spleen, while it is the most ancient, it is by far the quietest and easiest overridden authority. It isn't like the obvious energy injection that the sacral yes floods the body with. Or the unmistakable somatic experience of the emotional wave, or the potent frequency change of a self-projector speaking their truth. Or the buring desire driven Ego authoirty.. it is quiet, weak, and it does not give two shits about alarming you over and over again. It’s almost arrogant in it’s approach- “Not going to listen to me, well then here’s the silent treatment and you now go and deal with the consequences of your actions BISH”. It isn’t like the other authorities that go DING DING DING YES!! or DING DING DING NO! everything is a yes for the splenic person, UNTIL it is a no. If you live a pretty run of the mill life, that doesn’t putting you in danger or your health in jeopardy daily, it seems like the no’s can be far and few between. That is until you decondition enough to find it is actually always giving you subtle little pings.

Part of surrendering to the Spleen is to first quieten the mind so that you can even hear it, let alone surrender to it. It took for me to gather courage and trust by slowly gathering evidence. Slowly attuning to the body, slowly shutting up the minds constant orders, slowly bringing awareness back into the body within the environment. Then I was able to tune into the very subtle pings and reactions it gives me. Only then was I able to begin to surrender.

It's taken a combination of 1. weakening the minds authority over my life and 2. strengthening the connection to my body in its environment. This has all been through experimentation and evidence gathering.

I practice weakening the mind by a process of Self-Autolysis (check out Jed McKenna for more on this). Basically it is a process of watching myself. Watching my life. Watching the beliefs that control my behaviour and then questioning those beliefs and truths, rattling and shaking up my seemingly solid models of the world and concepts just enough that they begin to crack and dismantle themselves. Once they crack they begin to dissolve, and I choose to not fill that space in my mind with another belief but with evidence of what is existentially happening around me. By default my mind as an authority over my life is weakening. By default, trust and surrender to the form is coming back to me.. Bit by bit by bit. While this process of dissolution is happening in my mind, simultaneously, a process of collecting proof, gathering experiences and evidence of my Spleens ability to hold me in my decisions, is underway through watching my life. I am slowly tipping the tables back towards the body. And this is just the way it has worked for me. I am not one who just learnt about my authority and BOOM - aligned and living awake in the next moment. I am one who overrode her design many times, on many occasions and I still do, in many different ways to come to the conclusions I have now. For now, this is the process that works, for me. I encourage you to find the one that works for you. If that is blindly leaping and ripping off the bandaid GO YOU RADICAL DEVIL! If you can get up mid family dinner and walk out because your authority told you to then I take my hat off to ya. Meanwhile I’ll be sitting quietly in my seat at the table wondering what evidence overriding my authority will bring me this time.. food poisoning? the flu? perhaps uncle Bill will trip over and plunge his fork into my leg… who knows.