“Ask, don’t just take”.

The broken record that in stuck on repeat in our home on the daily. This is the mantra of a young Manifestor. Ask, don’t take. Just ask. ASK! I scratch my head in disbelief at how difficult this simple piece of guidance is for the Manifestor child. I also know that it IS the single hardest instruction there is for a Manifestor child to follow.

I picked this little mantra up from a professional Human Design Parenting lecture a while ago and have been experimenting with it daily. I will watch my son snatch something, or just take something that isn’t his, or go somewhere in the house that is dangerous to get something for his latest mission, or of course that time he stole a massive stuffed toy from a shopping mall (a story for another time), it is in these times I am reciting this mantra to him. “Hey Buddy, ask, don’t just take”. I’m known for this one liner now that I’m thinking about having it printed on a t-shirt. Now yes of course this is something we as parents are drumming into our child because it makes our life a hell of a lot more peaceful, but there is more to it then the fact it benefits us. This mantra is the beginning of a much more peaceful life for him. This simple mantra is the scaffolding that will become his informing.

When you think of a grand building being constructed there is always scaffolding around its outside to brace it, to prepare it, to assist it in its construction phase. While scaffolding aids the building in its growth it’s never the buildings foundations. Scaffolding is always there in a support role with the intentions of eventually be removed. The scaffolding has its own role, it’s own strengths and weak points but it is not the building. It never can be. The building has a different role to play, it has its own structure and strengths. If each of these structures remember their role, once the construction phase is complete, the scaffolding is able to be taken away and what’s left is this marvellous structure. If the scaffolding tries to shape the building and change the architecture it interferes too much with the original plans, the building is still built but the scaffolding can never be removed. The building now relies too heavily on the scaffolds structure that it cannot be recognised as the brilliant building it is on its own. These grand buildings cannot go up without the guidance and support of the scaffolding that parts true, but each should never forget its role. That is how I think of the little lessons that we are conditioning our children with daily. It’s simply scaffolding to assist them while they learns the skills of their definition. Let’s not forget these children are born with everything they will ever need. The design is perfectly formed 88 days prior to birth, the personality crystal joining the party at birth, our children are complete and whole as they are. All they are doing is gaining skills and experiences of how to live out their definition.

The scaffolding we put around our Manifestor child does exactly that. Allows him the freedom to expand and grow, while assisting him in exploring and experiencing new layers of his definition to develop the skills to be able to live out his differentiated role. Eventually we will pull the scaffolding away, with the theory that he will be able to stand solidly in his unique nature.

There is something to remember about the Manifestor and I’m going to quote the big man himself here because I cannot summarise it more succinctly

“[the Manifestor child] is threatening, rebellious, it does what it wants without asking permission, it is uncontrollable, and it gets punished.” Ra Uru Hu [5/1 splenic Manifestor].

The Manifestor child can be so deeply misunderstood simply by its nature. As a parent that makes me a little uneasy. I do not want for my son to go through this life being punished because of his ability to manifest. The ability that the rest of us are lead to believe we have through the ever popular “manifestation culture” that would probably have Ra Uru Hu rolling over in his grave. When you have an aligned Manifestor in your life, and you are not one yourself, you very quickly realise you do not have this mystical capability to “manifest” regardless of the latest self-help fad, and if and when things come to you, those things that come actually come through correct alignment with your definition, if and when they are supposed to.. or not.

The pure nature of a Manifestor child, the closed and repelling aura, the motor to throat connection, the ability to start something from nothing, initiate action and make an impact are all behaviours that are seen as desired, until it actually works. Like, actually works. Every time you use your definition correctly you get what you desire and as a result you have a forceful impact on another person. Then whhoooaaaa hold up. You cant be getting around doing whatever you please, whenever you please, impacting and polarising everything around you. Manifestor don’t be a Manifestor anymore. Everybody is conditioned to be the Manifestor, except the Manifestor. And so as children they are stopped, controlled, punished. Met with resistance. So much resistance.  

So, “Ask, don’t take”, the scaffolding that we are supporting our little Mani with at this moment is a simple skill that sounds somewhat like I am trying to control his actions. Let me assure you there is very little controlling of a Manifestor toddlers actions when you have the awareness of Human Design. This simple phrase is supporting him in learning the skills to avoid as much resistance from other people as possible when manifesting. That is the scaffolding that we are placing around him at this time to support his growth in alignment. Let’s teach you how to move through this life with the least amount of resistance as possible so that you can have as much peace in your life as possible. Ultimately that is what it’s all for- peace. Of course there will always be some resistance but lets try and reduce the amount significantly by learning this strategy of asking.

There are progressive stages for children learning to use their strategy based on age and whether or there has been an awareness of the child’s design from birth or whether it has come along a little later in life. The Manifestors strategy is “to inform”. The progressive stage of this strategy “ask, don’t take” is for Manifestors that are birth to 7 years of age. This is the learning phase and our little Mani is right in there. From 7-14 the Manifestor child starts to model this strategy more with people outside of the home and gather evidence that it works, with some guidance the asking will naturally become more of an informing. From 14-21 the once little Mani is now on their own in the big wide world, with their strategy of informing and understanding the impact their powerful aura has on the people around them.

There are a couple of aspects to this “Ask, don’t take” scaffolding that I would like to unpack for you;

You catch more fly’s with honey.

Learning to ask first embeds politeness in the informing strategy. Manifestors are naturally charming creatures, but they are also naturally angry creatures when met with resistance. You catch way more fly’s with honey then vinegar. In a life where your going to be on a mission to bring the most brilliant of things in this world, they are going to need to move people into action, rally the troops and manifest people to jump on board with the mission.

Who’s being impacted.

Learning to ask requires the child to consider who it is they actually need to ask. To consider who needs to be asked they must contemplate who is going to be impacted by what it is they are about to do. This is such an integral part of the Manifestors strategy. “Who are my actions going to impact, therefore who do I need to inform?”.

Taking what they want is normal.

There is no built in filter that “oh maybe I’m not supposed to have that?” in Manifestor children. Everything is for the taking. They are here to take life by the reigns, take what they need to manifest the thing, take the opportunity, take the moment. They are designed to take it. When they are little it’s cute and cheeky right, to watch a toddler toddle over and take your piece of cake. But as adults they take all of the families resources to invest in their latest mission and they are labelled selfish. The “ask, don’t take” scaffolding plants seeds that not everything is there for the taking. And well, you gotta ask, for somethings that’s the actual law.

Resistance is everywhere for the Manifestor child. They meet it in their parents, their siblings, their friends, their school teachers, their first romantic relationships, their work places. It’s a fact of life for the Manifestor. Living in the not-self is going to be met with far more resistance then following strategy and authority ever will.

This resistance is what begins the imprinting of going at it alone, not asking for help. As children Manifestor children are met with so much resistance to their missions that they very quickly learn to not ask anybody for help. More then that, they very quickly learn to just go and do the thing and not tell anybody. The more people they tell the more likely they are going to be stopped or controlled can quickly become their narrative. when in fact the more people they can inform the less resistance they will encounter.

This resistance isn’t just the initial resistance. It’s the after-the-fact impact that is also lessened. Consider a Manifestor child, we’ll say aged 12, who decides they want to paint their bedroom walls. They don’t tell a soul, go out to the shed, grab the paint supplies and begin painting, paint everywhere… enter mum or dad and with that enter the resistance, anger and punishment for the mess they have left in the aftermath of the mission that someone else now has to amend. Now consider the same child who is taught to ask. It doesn’t even need to be a question. “I’m thinking about painting my room a different colour soon”. Mum and Dad knowing their child is a Manifestor know that that statement is as good as a formal notice. Dad makes sure that with the paint supplies are some drop sheets, and other paint protection supplies. The Manifestor child still goes about their manifesting a new colour for their room whenever it is they wanted to put that task to action, except this time, the correct resource they needed are supplied, they drop sheets are used and there’s much less carnage and chaos in the aftermath.

My Manifestor child actually asks by informing in his own little way. He will ask a question and more often then not place an informing statement onto the end of the question. “Mum can we have pizza for dinner? Ham and pineapple would be great, thank-you”. He is right in the middle of turning that “asking” that he was taught from an early age into his own form of informing.

Now I don’t want parents to be triggered into worrying about how their little Mani is going to ‘fit’ or ‘be’ in society if they are raised in alignment with their design. For me there is no question about it. I know this world will benefit greatly from the impact and initiations that my child will bring and I want him to be able to be the fullest expression of who he is. Without this learning of the informing strategy he will encounter a life of resistance, projections, people misunderstanding him, people trying to control his actions and therefore anger, which will eventually become rage. For me there really is no question.

He initiates me daily into thing I would never have otherwise participated in and I can tell you that the three years he has been in existence has been the most expansive, transformative, impactful 3 years of my life thus far.